Don’t accuse Uncle Sam of being completely devoid of a funny bone.  He has one.  It’s just buried beneath a layer of concern that laughing out loud may lead to a loss of the upper hand that collects tax dollars.  Hence, Uncle Sam’s humor is accompanied by a disclaimer on its official website:  “These quotes reflect the opinions of the authors; their inclusion here is not an official IRS endorsement of the sentiments expressed.”

To tax and to please, no more than to love and to be wise, is not given to men.  – Edmund Smith

I am proud to be paying taxes in the United States.  The only thing is – I could be just as proud for half the money.   -Arthur Godfrey

People who complain about taxes can be divided into two classes:  men and women.   -Unknown

No government can exist without taxation.  This money must necessarily be levied on the people; and the grand art consists of levying so as not to oppress.   -Frederick the Great

Like mothers, taxes are often misunderstood, but seldom forgotten.  -Lord Bramwell

The best measure of a man’s honesty isn’t his income tax return.  It’s the zero adjust on his bathroom scale.   -Arthur C. Clarke, author

Next to being shot at and missed, nothing is really quite as satisfying as an income tax refund.   -F.J. Raymond, humorist

A tax loophole is something that benefits the other guy.  If it benefits you, it is tax reform.  -Russell B. Long, U.S. Senator

Few of us ever test our powers of deduction, except when filling out an income tax form.  -Lawrence J. Peter, author

The hardest thing in the world to understand is the income tax.  -Einstein

Taxation with representation ain’t so hot either.  -Gerald Barzan, humorist

Income tax has made more liars out of the American people than golf.  -Will Rogers

Now for the ones we wish the IRS would acknowledge:

What is the difference between a taxidermist and a tax collector?  The taxidermist takes only your skin.   -Mark Twain

Government’s view of the economy can be summed up in a few short phrases:  If it moves, tax it.  If it keeps moving, regulate it.  And if it stops moving, subsidize it.   -Ronald Reagan

We don’t seem to be able to check crime, so why not legalize it and then tax it out of business.  -Will Rogers

I’m spending a year dead for tax reasons.  -Douglas Adams

Thinking is the one thing no one has ever been able to tax.  -Charles Kettering